Here is a list of lessons I learned in the year 2015 and a few over the years. It is pretty much going to be a compilation of obvious facts that one may get to see on heavily filtered instagram photos with inspirational quotes on them. Nevertheless, I got one life, one blog and at the maximum 1.5 to 2 readers, so I am going to post the list anyway!
There is something very special about internalizing lessons that we learn through personal experience. The kind of learning that cannot be pumped into our tiny brains by reading internet quotes while in the loo or even by mom’s repeating them over several years.
The thing with life lessons are that we keep learning new stuff while we forget the old ones, and then make a costly mistake only to re-learn the lesson we knew as kids.Then there are other times when we need to un-learn some lessons. The absolute trick I think is to know which lessons to keep and which to chuck. Most important lesson in my opinion though is constant objective introspection.
This list is specific and personal to me for the year 2015. Lot of cliche, but hey, simple stuff sometimes take the longest to settle in.
- Learn to laugh at your own self. It is pretty much what makes up most of your sense of humour.
- Timing is of prime importance. Some things are not meant to happen and its not your mistake.
- Learn to set strong boundaries and know when someone violates them.
- Texting is not equal to real communication. No real relationships are built over texts. If you care enough, make it as personal as possible.
- People who want you in their lives will take the effort and it is not so tough to know who those people are.
- Persuading someone to love you back doesn’t work. Similarly, the best kind of relationships start with mutual liking.
- Social media has a ton of people posting a ton of nonsense. Don’t pass a judgement about anyone based on it.
- Upbringing matters a LOT
- Never stereotype! Be as open minded as possible.
- Do not take shit – if something makes you uncomfortable, it does. No need to justify it to anyone. If someone continues to bring in too much negativity, cut them off.
- At the same time, if you need to confront someone, learn to do so without ruining the relationship.
- Let go
- Don’t be afraid of making a fool out of yourself. Frankly, no one cares cause everyone is busy sorting out their own shit to remember how you screwed up. Funny memory : Until very recently I was holding on to something that happened a decade ago. I had pronounced “Pharaoh” as Pa-ra-oh and was laughed at. What was worse is that I was so bothered about this. L.A.M.E.
- Take tiny decisions when confused about the bigger picture
- Believe in yourself
- Respect people and their time
- Dont be afraid to apologize when you hurt someone but at the same time know when to stop apologizing and let go.
- Keep all your friends, call them often, love them, shower them with all your affection, but do not fake it. Be the kind of friend you would want for yourself.
- Sometimes you will be sad and negative thoughts will creep in, try to curb it, but if its not possible, embrace it, feel it until you feel fine. It is OK to be sad and be in a bad mood sometimes! Do not buy into this extreme positive thinking hogwash. Real life has sadness too and you don’t have to live in denial about it.
- Learn to be alone, and enjoy your own company. Learn to have meals alone, go to a movie alone and to hang out with yourself.
- Be weary of people who put you in a pedestal, remember that you then give them the power to knock you off too.
- Don’t subscribe to anything that is changing your personality too much too soon when you do not even know if it is good or bad for you.
- Spoken words don’t mean a thing. Only actions matter. Focus on actions when in doubt.
- Try not to speak when angry or emotional.
- Be emotionally independent. No one who loves you deserves to be pained because you are not able to get your shit together.At the same time, know that people who are there for the long haul wont leave you when they get to see you at your worst, they ideally should remember and also remind you of what makes you a good person.
- Cheaters and people with bad ethics will justify their behavior by blaming and emotionally draining their victim.
- Mental stability is of primary importance (duhhh) when your brain asks for space, and your intuition is giving you indications, listen!
- Don’t be in a rush. Things take time. Good things take more time. Patience is key. You will get your answers. You will achieve your goals as long as you are persistent and take a step at a time.
- Exercise regularly and wear sunscreen.
- Love yourself, but don’t be a narcissist.
- Practice profound empathy and listen to people. It can be draining and it takes effort, but it is the key to networking and maintaining good relationships.
My 2015 was an exceptional 10/10. It was filled with successes and happiness. I spent quality time with my extremely loving family and friends, and I am full of gratitude to have each and every one. Had loads of fun and worked very hard too. I got back to Karate after more than a decade and then went to represent my country in a tournament and won golds. I got into a super cool B School. I wore nice clothes and took care of myself. Met awesome new people, some who might be friends for life. I goofed up a lot too, but that is what made life interesting. In 2016 I hope to have an even bigger list by goofing up even more. I wish to have a ton of happiness (dont we all?) but most of all I am ready to embrace the disappointments, sadness and all the mistakes I will be making!