Driving in Mumbai

posted in: Life | 1

One has to experience driving a vehicle in Mumbai.

Over the weekend I decided to pick up a friend and go to Bandra, such an innocent plan, but I was a naive new driver in the city and hence not prepared for the many dynamic parameters involved.

I stay in this suburban neighbourhood in Mumbai and living in this side of the city is considered fairly uncool(?), but considering I shifted to Mumbai at the age of 8 from a remote valley in Assam, me and my family had no idea that my coolness factor will be negatively impacted by a 40 Km distance.

My relationship with Mumbai is just as any other  : Love + Hate

Coming to the point , driving to Bandra includes crossing Powai, and getting stuck in Powai traffic is a life altering experience, a dementors kiss. (Update : The road has since been broadened and hence acquired an acceptable level on insanity)

What I can never get over is the fact that:
1) There is a temple in the middle of the road
2) Any time of the day you can see a bunch of cows lounging and munching on plastic right in the middle of this road

Next comes the dangerous terrain, the extreme sport of driving through the patch full of craters, some are covered by a haphazardly placed sheet of metal : SEEPZ to MIDC turning.If you miss the right angle and judgement to drive over the metal cover, there is a danger of you falling into a deep pit which i believe leads you to ‘paataal’ where rightfully Raavan might embrace you.
Anyway, I never understood the obsession with people honking!! Why? why honk so much? I have termed this phenomena “horngasm”.
Next comes Andheri. Let’s  seriously not even talk about Andheri now.
Finally, reached Bandra. friend and me got into a conversation :

 

Friend ( Who has been sitting in the passenger seat for the past 2 hours) : “I love driving”

I felt it would be best not to comment and I was not exactly in the mood to talk about the love for driving.

At the very moment, we saw black Lamborghini zoom past us and suddenly brake behind a scooter.

Me:”like, why on earth would you drive such a car in Mumbai? How can you possibly feel nice about accelerating for precisely 5 seconds before you break behind an uncle driving a Bajaj chetak at 15 kmph? “

Friend:  “I would love it!

He should have stopped at this, but he felt it is necessary to add…

“….maybe it’s a guy thing”

That was it.

Maybe it IS a guy thing, maybe it is a Mumbai thing. Not my thing.

Comedy comes out of anger, and interesting comes out of angry ,otherwise there is no conflict

People waiting to enter paataal.

This one is my favorite , two guys brawling away to glory in the middle of the road.

 

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One Response

  1. hey, nice post yaar!!!

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